[I found this -- an early, early attempt at writing wedding vows for my wife and myself -- while cleaning out my notes. I thought I'd post it here. Because I should post more things here.]
A: Some parts of marriage are easy.
J: Like the tax benefits.
A: And the monogrammed towels.
J: But some parts are hard.
A: Some parts take work.
J: And that’s why they have you make vows.
A: I promise to listen.
J: I promise to try.
A: I promise to keep making gluten-free pie.
J: I promise to scratch your back when it itches.
A: I promise you an equal share of my riches.
J: I promise that we will keep going on dates.
A: I promise to sit through presidential debates.
J: I promise to spectate sometimes when you run.
A: I promise to laugh sometimes when you make puns.
J: I promise to try to admit when I’m wrong.
A: I’ll keep waiting for that one.
J: You’ll be waiting long.
A: But seriously, I’ll try that one too.
J: It’s a hard thing to do.
A: It is hard, that’s true.
J: I promise to listen.
A: I said that before.
J: I think it’s a big one.
A: Okay, let’s do more.
J: I promise you babies.
A: You can’t promise that.
J: Okay, then I promise a series of cats.
A: I promise to slow down when life’s getting crazy.
J: I promise to keep up when I’m feeling lazy.
A: I’ll try not to notice when your gut gets bigger.
J: And I’ll shut my mouth when you lose your figure.
A: I promise to love you as long as I live.
J: I promise to give you all that I can give.
A: I promise to work and to play and to rest.
J: I promise to work, too, and to give my best.